Dear Annie: My husband enjoyed sex when we had it, but I initiated every session. After five years, I started to feel as if I was begging for it and asked him to take the lead some of the time. He didn't.This self-centered wife is only concerned with her needs, and how she wants her husband to change to suit her. I bet that her selfishness is the real problem.
For three more years, I told him it would thrill me to be approached by him, treated to dinner or have a little gift placed on my pillow — the kind of things I did for him. I finally convinced him to go for counseling, but my husband wouldn't do any of the things the counselor suggested. In desperation, I told him that if he wanted sex, he would have to initiate it.
That was seven years ago, and we haven't been intimate since. I can't divorce him because of my own physical problems. He says he loves me, but he's not willing to do anything for me. Any suggestions? — Another Sad Wife
No one gives her the obvious adive:
Ask your husband what you can do to please him. Then do it.I hate to bash American women, but this wife probably has no idea what is necessary for a happy marriage. No one ever told her, and no counselor will.
It is human nature that men are much easier to please than women. Once a wife figures out how to please her husbands, she usually gets rewards far beyond her effort. But a wife with an attitude like the above letter will never be happy.
The other letter is another sad wife:
Dear Annie: My parents divorced years ago. Dad waited patiently while Mom chose between him and another man. In the end, Mom chose the other guy, but it didn't work out. Neither have any of her other relationships. Meanwhile, my dad married a lovely, classy and extremely wealthy woman. They have found true happiness, while my mom has become bitter and jealous.Child support laws are designed so that an ex-wife like this one can have a standard of living comparable to the man she left.
I love both of my parents, but it's difficult to be around my mother when she constantly whines and complains about Dad, saying he has money and she doesn't. ...