She's Leaving for All the Right ReasonsMaybe the husband is a jerk, or maybe the wife overreacted to a couple of minor comments. There is not enough info to tell. I am posting this for the bad advice.
Dear Annie: I am 29 years old, have been married for eight years and have two toddlers. I have decided to leave my husband.
When we met, I was in college and my husband had just graduated. I quit school with the assumption that he would pass his licensure exam. He has since failed it three times. ...
He has told me to quit school, knowing we would have to pay back every cent of the tuition. He said he doesn't believe it is God's will for me to attend school. (He's also said that if I don't have sex with him, it will be my fault if he fails his exam again.)
I don't have the resources to leave him until I graduate, ... How do I ensure that I get primary, residential custody of my kids? — Surviving in Virginia
Dear Virginia: In his desperation to control you, your husband's frustration has become emotional abuse. We are concerned that this will escalate. It is possible that joint counseling, particularly with your clergy, might help him realize that his attitude is hurting everyone.
In the meantime, custody arrangements do not come with advance guarantees, so please talk to a lawyer. And call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233).
The husband supported the wife for 9 years, while they had 2 toddlers and she went back to school. Now that she realizes that he is not going to achieve the earnings potential that she expected, she is planning to bail out as soon as she can get a better job. But her plans depend on getting primary custody of what she calls "my kids".
The advice is to get a lawyer, make a phony domestic violence accusation, get a unilateral divorce, use the accusation to get primary custody, and sue for child support.
Maybe if he had passed that licensure exam, he would have made the big bucks and she would be happy as a housewife. But now, he is not good enough for her, and she would rather just collect the child support check, pursue her own career, keep their kids, and find new lovers.
This is marriage today in the USA. There is no mention of whether she loves him, or he loves her, or anyone loves the kids, or anyone feeling bound to a commitment. The comments at the above link are even worse than the advice columnists'.
The Santa Cruz paper used the headline "Husband is jealous of my success". The advice
columnists themselves suggested, "She's Leaving for All the Right Reasons". What right reasons? Her reasons are (1) he failed his licensure exam, (2) she regrets having dropped out of school, (3) he wants to have sex with her, (4) he made a couple of unkind remarks, (5) she will soon be making more money than him, and (6) she wants primary custody of their kids.