Friday, October 07, 2011

Non-technical reasons such as divorce

A reader writes:
I just bought my first set of "cutlery" i.e., professional knives. They are beautiful, expensive and are a dream to work with. I had a few "Henkels" knives, and they made me aware of the value of a good set of knives.

Anyway, I was reading the instructions on their care and usage and came across the following:

"Knives which are given as gifts are not refundable. Knives which are not wanted due to non-technical reasons such as divorce, not enough counter space, spouse doesn't like the color, etc. are not refundable. Any return must be discussed with Customer Service before being sent back."

I am going to take a wild guess and say that "spouse" means wives as in "the spouse doesn't like the color." I can I could also safely say that not wanted by spouse means wives also.

It sounds like there quite a few husbands who think a $1,000 set of knives would please most women. I would think that they would be in the same category as a set of Snap-On wrenches.

A word to husbands. don't buy you wife a nice set of cutlery unless you are really really sure they will want them. In the event of a divorce or separation, be forewarned that they are VERY sharp and could be used against you (think John Bobbitt).
It sounds as if the knife company has caught on to my tricks. Whenever I am returning something, and Customer Service is giving me a hard time, I blame it on the wife. If pressed for details, I launch into a monologue about how difficult it is to please my wife. Works every time. It is much easier than trying to describe some bug in the electronics or why some other product is better.

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