Friday, September 02, 2005

Getting blamed for co-parenting

I had another session with Dr. Inkblot, the court-appointed psychologist, and I am beginning to have serious doubts about him. It seems that my ex-wife has been convincing him that we cannot co-parent.

He said that she told him the story of how she was going to take the kids on a Caribbean cruise, but she canceled it when she found out that I was going to get the kids for an equivalent amount of time.

Somehow he thought that I was at fault for this. He said that the problem was that the trip interfered with the time that I was scheduled to have the kids, and that I wanted a balanced adjustment. He said that maybe if I had only explained to her that it was equitable and reasonable for me to also have an opportunity to take the kids on a trip, then maybe she would have agreed and gone on her trip.

He cited a couple of other examples of supposedly failed co-parenting. When I pointed out that I did exactly what my ex-wife requested in each case, he said, "That is capitulation, not co-parenting."

It is amazing how these family court folks can concoct reasons for blaming fathers. My ex-wife can be crazy and intransigent, and even willing to punish the kids in order to spite me, and somehow it is all my fault for not persuading her to be reasonable. Her lawyer then tells the judge that she must have custody because some supposed expert says that we cannot co-parent. Sigh.


Anonymous said...

Is that REALLY the reason that she didn't go on the cruise? Perhaps she didn't go because she had something better to do instead..... If you are relating your experience with the doctor correctly, then you really really need a lawyer to get involved on YOUR behalf to protect you and your rights! Your ex could have cancelled that cruise for any number of reasons. I am not quite sure why all these people are so easily and readily just accepting the word of your wife who clearly has her own agenda and goals with these meetings - she wants to punish you and take the kids. She doesn't seem to care that this punishes the girls more than you - this is her illness. A lawyer on your behalf would have knowledge on how to work the system in your favor against her manipulations. From what you share on this blog, you are not gifted at getting your point across well to these court representatives, and as a result, you may be unjustly penalized at the expense of your relationship with your daughters. A lawyer knows how to play the game even if you do not believe it should be played - you have been forced into this situation against your will, you might as well just accept the fact that you need help to get a fair outcome. Is this fair? No. But is it the way it is? unfortunately, apparantly yes.... Do not let your ex-wife out bully you because you refuse to hire a fighter to take on her game - play the game, and win some of your basic rights back - THEN try to challange the system if you have time and energy - but as a 50/50 parent who refused to let the lies alienate you from your right and duty to be a loving father.

George said...

I don't know for sure why she cancelled the cruise. I do know that
the kids were disappointed and confused, and that she was not behaving like a rational and sane human being.