Monday, August 01, 2005

Saw the new shrink

I just got back from the psychologist. I used $220 of his time (that is just one hour) mainly to discuss formalities: what the judge wants, what he should do, history of the marriage, age of the kids, etc. He started to tell me how a psychological evaluation works, and I told him I had been thru it before. I gave him a report that includes psychological tests that I had taken previously.

He skimmed the report, and noticed that I had not taken an inkblot test. So he scheduled me to come back for an inkblot test. I have to play along, and humor these folks.

The test is completely unscientific, and is about like dream interpretation. About the only value is that a schizophrenic will sometimes look at a meaningless pattern and be prompted to tell some crazy story. To any reasonably normal person, and even to most neurotic people, the test is just a silly waste of time.

I tried this online Rorschach Test, and got this diagnosis:
Diagnostic Overview: Your responses indicate that you secretly wish for the Apocalypse. You need treatment for this, like not watching so much CNN. It also appears that you're very mistrustful of red cars, toilet paper, and the sky. If untreated, you will end up being one of those people who keep 100 cats in their house. People who answer as you did worry constantly about Japanese steel imports.

Long-Term Prognosis: Because you have no regard for human life, fair play, or mercy, your only career choice is to be a lawyer. Although debilitating, this kind of emotional disorder is treatable with a strict regimen of drug therapy and shock sessions. You may never be completely normal, but this mental illness will not be passed on to your offspring.

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