Monday, October 15, 2012

Telling my kids the truth

A reader commented:
I think that you actually do compromise your kid's privacy with your blog. I think it's the lesser of the evils though. Fighting for your parental rights, first amendment rights, and transparency is in your kids better interest, vs. not doing it.
I had a dispute with the court psychologist, Ken Perlmutter, related to this.

Perlmutter said that it was very important that my kids never learn that the family court ruled against me, or that I was paying child support. He said that my kids have a new family now, and they do not need to know those things. He said that I should tell them that it was my decision not to see my kids. Once a psychologist and a commissioner had decided the best interest of the kids,

He repeatedly asked me why I would tell them what the court had done. He acted as if he genuinely did not understand why a parent would do such a thing.

I explained to him that I had always been honest with my kids, and I believed in telling them the truth. They had been led to believe that I had abandoned them, and complained that I never do anything for them. I said that it was wrong for kids to be told such falsehoods about their own dad, and furthermore there are numerous studies showing that it is harmful for kids to believe such things.

He admitted that there is no objective evidence of harm in telling my kids the truth, or in anything else I had done. His reasons had more to do with his greed, his vindictiveness, and his religion.

No, I will not tell my kids that I abandoned them.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't think that they should be led to believe that you have abandoned them. What was said or done to make them believe that and why do you think that Perlmutter's motivation is greed, vindictiveness and religion ?

My best guess is that like in many cases, Perlmutter is serving your ex's interests, and it is your ex who would prefer that the kids believe this crap. I doubt that Perlmutter cares about your kids at all, and wouldn't expend any energy on you with vindicteness or any religious convictions. He's lazy, and has no convictions, I figure. I'll go alnog with greedy.

George said...

I had about a 20 minute argument with Perlmutter in his private office about whether I should tell my kids that I have not abandoned him. If he were just greedy, he would not have bothered.

Anonymous said...

In my opinion, he's just a cog in a corrupt evil system. They take your money, and simulataneously create P.A.S.. If you hadn't had Perlmutter, another evluator would have done the same or similar, I figure, from what I went through, and stories I've heard from others.

Who have you run accross in the family court system that wasn't evil ?

Look, let's say he'd have said, "go ahead George, explain to your kids exactly all that happened", and that's what these evaluators did, in general. Would as many wives be as inclined to employ all of these lawyers and evaluators, knowing, or fearing that their kids would be upset about matters and maybe balme the moms ? I've heard that lawyers tell the moms "don't worry, you're kids won't be blaming you, or the courts, just the guy you're divorcing." sort of thing.

George said...

Some evaluators are much worse than others. Perlmutter is one of the worst. Yes, there are Christian evaluators who do not believe the evil things that Perlmutter believes.

Anonymous said...

Yes, there are some Christian evaluators that are far more greedy than Perlmutter.

George said...

Greediness was not Perlmutter's worst sin. He is evil on another level.

Anonymous said...

Sure he is evil, but you've run accross so many evil people in this system and only attribute Perlmutter's evil behaior to his religion. You've never said that any of the people from CPS, or the lawyers, etc. were evil and it had to do with them being Christian. Why ?

George said...

If you have any info that those CPS agents, lawyers, etc. had Christian motivations for their evil acts, please let me know.

Anonymous said...

If you have any info that Perlmutter's motivations for his evil acts had anything to do with his religion, please let me know.

George said...

I have posted all about Perlmutter. I have also explained that I oppose any religious motivation for taking kids away.