Many comments seemed to miss the point. One said:
I'm extremely curious as to why you think this as devalues fatherhood. You really didn't explain that issue very well.A theme of this blog is that the family court devalues fathers to be just support money payers, and maybe be awarded visitation privileges, contingent on good behavior. Throughout history, fathers have been much more than that. The father has been the head of household, with the responsibility to lead, support, teach, discipline, build character, etc.
But the typical dad in family court getw two weekends a month visitation, and no real opportunity to direct the upbringing of his child. He is a visitor. Maybe he is a swim coach or bicycle fixer or a friend, and that is all. This is wrong. Kids need moms and dads, and get something different from each.
Now a JC Penney Fathers Day ad says a father can be like a coach or a friend, and one of my gay commenters says that it is inspiring because he wants to have a biological child someday. If that ever happens, I hope that he is inspired to be more than a coach or a friend. Kids need more than that.
While courts are denying the rights and responsibilities of fathers, they are also aggressively pushing doctrines that are contrary to kids having a mom and a dad. Here are two examples from the last week.
The federal appeals court ruled that Calif. Prop. 8 is unconstitutional because California voters had no rational purpose in voting for it, so California same-sex couples and only California same-sex couples are entitled to marriage licenses. The decision is not about any rights that gays have or don't have, except that the idea is to force others to respect their relationships.
The New Mexico supreme court ruled that a Wedding Photographer May Be Required (on Pain of Legal Liability) to Photograph Same-Sex Commitment Ceremonies. It sure seems to me that a private photographer should be able to photograph anyone she wants. There are plenty of other wedding photographers.
If gays were arguing for freedom to do what they want, then I would have no argument. But these cases are all about gays forcing others to respect their lifestyles. I believe that we have rights to form our own opinions. Some commenters have ad hominem attacks at anyone who disagrees.
Getting back to the JCP ad, it seems to portray an ideal father as a gay man who gets in a relationship with another gay man, adopts a couple of overseas babies, and aspires to be swim coach and friend to the kids.
One reader comments:
I can literally name 7 gay couples that I know personally who have adopted/are trying to adopt or who are using a surrogate/have used one. These are wealthy, upstanding citizens and wonderful parents who deserve all the same recognition and respect as any heterosexual father.There are also lesbian couples who have used artificial insemination from sperm donors or who have sued their ex-husbands for sole custody of their kids. Maybe some of them will be featured in the next JCP ad.
Another says:
That's part of why many adoption agencies (such as the Independent Adoption Center, which caters to the LGBT community) choose to do open adoptions,I am glad someone respects the importance of biological parents. Some commenters seemed to deny that there was any difference between biological and adoptive parents. I am not against adoption, but one said, "Being a parent has nothing to do with where you got your child." I cannot agree with that. My being a parent had a lot to do with where I got the child.
8 comments:
The JC Penney ad doesn't say anything about "The ideal father." It literally says "What makes dad so cool? He's the swim coach, tent maker, best friend, bike fixer and hug giver -- all rolled into one. Or two."
Those things DO make a dad cool. And of course they're not the only attributes of a good dad. Do you honestly think that JCP is say that the only things dads need to do is be a swim coach and they're good to go? Give me a break. What do you want them to do, run a 6 hour long mini-series touching on every aspect of what it means to be a good father?
Your blog was ill-informed, poorly written, and cloaked in homophobia. You made up facts to back up your claims, ignored comments that proved you wrong, and then boo hoo'd in your follow up blog that "everyone is missing the point."
Everyone is missing the point because you don't have one. What does JC Penny have to do with family courts? How does adoption devalue the roll of fathers? What you have is a couple scattershot blog posts containing random, unrelated items and made up facts that relay more about your personal biases and prejudice than they does about parental rights, family courts, or the roll of a father in a family.
I honestly think that the roll of a father is an important topic and worth blogging about, but George you're not helping your cause. Why not engage in some constructive conversation with the LGBT community instead of casting them aside as deviants. LGBT couples are raising wonderful, healthy, productive kids all over the world. I know because I married one. Why not try and find out what they're doing right instead of just assuming everything about it is wrong?
The biological aspect of parenthood is the easiest part. Anyone can make a kid. It takes a real man or woman (gay or straight) to raise one.
Take a second and consider that there's a chance (even a small one) that you could be wrong here. I've learned much more by being wrong in my life than I've learned by insisting I'm right. (This time I'm right though. I promise )
Best of luck.
(Feel free to come tell me how wrong my blog is if you'd like. I write http://www.askyourdadblog.com, and am always open to feedback.)
Use all the innuendo and backpeddling you want. A quick review of your blog reveals that you use your issues with the family court system to bash women, Jews, Mexicans, Gays etc. as much as you possibly can.
Post some info. that proves I'm wrong, if you like.
"While courts are denying the rights and responsibilities of fathers, they are also aggressively pushing doctrines that are contrary to kids having a mom and a dad. Here are two examples from the last week"
What does wedding photography have to do with raising kids?
If you are citing prop 8, I'm sure you read the studies that were brought up in the case that showed children brought up in a same sex household turned out as well as kids in an opposite sex household, and the pro prop 8 was unable to find any studies that showed otherwise?
Just because you feel something to be true doesn't mean it is. Just because the earth appears flat doesn't mean it is. You have the right to your own opinions, you do not have the right to make up your own facts.
Sir, I commend you for stubbornly remaining a bigoted douchebag despite the many people calling you out for being such. As Lady Gaga said, you were born this way. Well I guess technically you weren't, but you sure as hell are going to fight tooth and nail to make sure you STAY that way.
You are truly great father. I'm sure your kids won't resent you at all when they get older and realize how screwed up your worldview is, especially if one of them turns out to be gay and demands POOR STRAIGHT (or closeted, I can't tell) GUYS like you to respect them, their relationships, and their decisions (the horror!!!)
You are truly an inspiration to homophobes everywhere, and I commend you for it.
Wow I just looked at the rest of the blog and you truly hold no punches.
You are extremely bigoted, but cloak that by saying that the people you are discriminating against are actually bigoted against white, straight Christian men. Because nobody has it harder than them right?
I thought maybe there was some hope for you to reform your ways, but now I no there is no hope for you, because you are under the delusion that your beliefs are right and somehow make sense.
I don't like to call people names, but you are a homophobic, sexist, racist piece of shit and if I were your child I would run away from you as soon as I could.
You don't want LGBT people to shove their "lifestyle" down straight people's throats (somehow that sounded dirty ha ha) yet if anyone is shoving their "lifestyle" down other people's throats, it is straight people. It is depicted as the norm in society, and children are assumed to be straight unless and until they come out of the closet.
Yet despite all of this, it is STRAIGHT people who complain about gay people shoving their "lifestyle" down their throats when a SINGLE ad in a JCP catalogue depicts a gay couple, or a gay couple is depicted as normal in a popular sitcom.
I don't care about the heterosexual bias of the media that much. All I ask is that assholes like you don't accuse the media of advancing the radical leftist socialist unamerican gay agenda (or whatever you freaks call it) whenever they throw the LGBT community a bone (again that sounded pretty dirty... accuse me of being immature if you like, I don't care).
You said ' "Being a parent has nothing to do with where you got your child." I cannot agree with that. My being a parent had a lot to do with where I got the child. ' Is that all that holds you to being a parent? Genetics? If so, you need to go over what makes a GOOD father. It has nothing to do with genetics and everything to do with how you treat your children. I saw this article posted on your other hateful post and I agree and think you need to read it.
http://www.livescience.com/17913-advantages-gay-parents.html
Straight people are the norm. You wouldn't be alive today if a penis and vagina weren't involved. If everyone were gay and never had sex with the other gender, then there would be no humans. Allowing some interaction for procreation just validates the claim, since it is the required union (as brief as it may be allowed) and not any fleeting homosexuality.
Even children can understand something so simple, but your fantasy world is much more appealing to you, eh?
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