Saturday, July 30, 2005

Why I am angry

A reader writes:
I think you are really having a hard time with your x. You must really still love her because there is so much anger there. I'm sorry you hurt so much.

Even if you are devastated and angry (especially with this situation of her having a new friend) you might learn to accept the fact that she must have been very unhappy in the relationship to have left a family behind. You might feel truly sad but one day you might understand she's just trying to take care of herself.
No, you are making some faulty inferences.

The Angry Dad moniker refers to anger with the family court system. I started this blog when I was confronted with the fact that we have an family court system that is fundamentally evil in its purpose and effect. I really don't know how the lawmakers, judges, psychologists, and lawyers sleep at night. Any idiot with a minimal amount of common sense could see that they are coldly and deliberately causing unnecessary suffering to our two kids.

I am not "devastated and angry" that my wife has a serious new boyfriend. If she marries him and is happy with him, so much the better. I accepted a couple of years ago that my wife was bailing out of the marriage. Since then, I have done everything that I can to facilitate her making a happy new life on her own.

She did not leave a family behind because she was very unhappy. She was primarily driven by other reasons. I do understand that she is following advice to take care of herself, even if it means betraying everything that I thought that she stood for. I personally think that she has gotten some very bad advice, but she is an adult and she doesn't listen to me anymore.

For example, her lawyer probably advised her that her custody claim would be improved if the kids are not allowed to go on vacation with me. Otherwise, my wife would think that it would be best for everyone involved if the kids go on a vacation with me. So she is "just trying to take care of herself" by asking the judge to renege on the order to let me have the kids for 2 weeks.

I do not accept what the court has done, and I am trying my best to remedy the situation.

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