Dear Annie: I've been with my husband for 15 years. ...The writer wants her husband to work two jobs so she can stay home and play with the toddler. So Annie suspects ADD? This is wacky advice. Dads who work two jobs don't get to see their kids much. Maybe he wants to see their child also.
We are both in our mid-30s and recently had our first baby. I am resentful and angry that I had to return to work and put the baby in day care. I missed my baby's first steps and first word. I feel robbed of time with my child.
I never wanted to be "Mrs. Career," and now I feel trapped. ...
My father worked two jobs, and he says there's something wrong with a man who can't provide for his family. ... — Sad Wife
Dear Sad: ... Please insist that your husband be evaluated for adult ADD, and also that he get some career counseling as well as therapy to work on his negative, self-defeating attitude.
Saturday's advice:
If there is a chance she has contracted an STD from her philandering husband, she should be told. Otherwise, please stay out of it. ...I guess I knew that Ann Landers and Dear Abby were Jewish twin sisters, but I did not know that this was a Jewish advice column. Passover did start on Friday, but that was also Good Friday and today is Easter. Surely there are many more readers who celebrate Good Friday and Easter.
To our Jewish readers: A happy and healthy Passover.
Perhaps I should have guessed from the amorality of the advice given. They act as if marital infidelity is simply a matter of STD risk. I guess the reader is supposed to do her own investigation of condom use, and choose to meddle in the marriage accordingly.
Oops, I see today's column says "Happy Easter to all our Christian readers." So I guess I jumped to a faulty conclusion, and it is not a Jewish advice column.
For my readers, Happy Easter, Spring Break, Passover, March Madness, or whatever else you are celebrating.
15 comments:
Bottom line: Women are never happy. Half of them are forced to stay at home with the children and robbed of their careers and lives. The other half are forced to go back to work and are robbed of seeing their children grow up. What to do?
Given your ancestry, I'd have guessed
that you would view Jews differently.
I am not criticizing people for their ancestry. The current Dear Abby column is written by the daughter of the original Dear Abby, and I have criticized her on this blog, but I criticize her for her bad advice, not for her mom's bad advice.
I guess I knew that Ann Landers and Dear Abby were Jewish twin sisters, but I did not know that this was a Jewish advice column.
Perhaps I should have guessed from the amorality of the advice given.
You completely edited out the parts of the letter that talked about the husband's struggles with low self-esteem, which is what prompted the suggestion about ADD. What's up with that?
Also: "I did not know that this was a Jewish advice column... Perhaps I should have guessed from the amorality of the advice given?" WHAT is up with THAT?
Right, there was a sentence in between. Does it matter ?
What does ADD have to do with Jews and "Jewish advice" etc ?
To our Jewish readers: A happy and healthy Passover. I guess I knew that Ann Landers and Dear Abby were Jewish twin sisters, but I did not know that this was a Jewish advice column. Passover did start on Friday, but that was also Good Friday and today is Easter. Surely there are many more readers who celebrate Good Friday and Easter.
Perhaps I should have guessed from the amorality of the advice given.
Who's amoral ? Jews ?
Yes, I edited out some the wife's complaints about her husband's self-esteem. Low self-esteem is not related to ADD, as far as I know. The ADD suggestion seemed bizarre.
The amoral advice had to do with whether to spread gossip about the philandering husband. Maybe my comment was out of line, but I was referring to the morality of the advice, not the advice-givers.
So the morality reference was about the advice not the advice givers ? And what were you to have perhaps guessed about the advice givers ? That the were Jewish, right ? What else could someone interpret other than this ?
Sure, it's the advice you judge, not the advice giver's ancestry...
FRIDAY, JULY 10, 2009
Mall shopping called child neglect
Judith Warner, the whining Jewish mom of the NY Times, writes:
"Low self-esteem is not related to ADD, as far as I know. "
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=adhd+low+self-esteem+adults
So now you know.
Now, WHAT is it that you "should have guessed from the amorality of the advice given?" Come on, at least have the courage to stand by your own words.
I don't doubt that you can search the web and find some psychobabble claiming to relate ADD with low self-esteem. But the wife's complaint was not about either. Her complaint was that she had to work because her husband does not make enough money.
Yes, Judith Warner is a whining Jewish mom who writes for the NY Times. She identifies herself as being Jewish, writes about Jewish issues, and expresses the sorts of opinions that you might expect from a Jewish mom writing for the NY Times. If any of this is wrong, then please correct me. If you search my blog, you will occasionally see references to other ethnic groups, such as "Chinese mom". I believe that such details offer helpful background information.
I searched the internet and found that you, yourself George are of Jewish ancestry, but you never mention it. Why ?
It's not "psychobabble." Look up any authoritative source you want. I have Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Executive Function Disorder and it does play havoc with your self-esteem as a man. I've worked with a therapist, changed up my work patterns, and am now supporting myself and my fiancée on my income.
The wife (and the amoral Jewishy Jew of a columnist-kike), seem to be looking for ways to help the man, rather than say "he is a no-good lazy fuck." I mean, seriously: what do you think they should do instead?
Okay, maybe the husband will get diagnosed with ADD, get a second job, allow the wife to quit her job and listen to the baby talk all day, and maybe he will be grateful to the columnist for the helpful advice. It seems unlikely to me, but I guess it is possible.
She says her father worked two jobs. She's not saying her husband should work two jobs.
Maybe he's really happy making $7.25 an hour. Maybe he has found his calling in life sweeping floors or scrubbing toilets, and that's more important to him than being able to support his newborn child. It seems unlikely to me, but I guess it is possible.
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