Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Losing weight without home-cooked meals

I ran into a friend of my wife's in a shopping center parking lot.

I know that my wife has badmouthed me to his wife with things that I haven't even heard, so there is no telling what he thinks of me. He was cheerful, and he said, "you look like you've lost weight."

I said, "Yes. Since my wife moved out, I haven't had those home-cooked meals, and I am wasting away."

He laughed, and said, "Now I know that you are being a smart-ass."

I guess he knows that I could never have gained weight on those home-cooked meals, but why is it so ridiculous? My wife is actually a good cook. As a full-time housewife, she certainly could have cooked meals for me if she wanted to.

This man's wife submitted an affidavit against me, saying the following:
One of these incidences involves a convertible that George drives frequently. As my daughters and I were leaving [George's] home after a playdate, George placed Mary on the back end of the car and started driving in reverse out of the driveway. The child was clinging to the passenger's seatback as a means to secure herself in the car. There was no buckling of seatbelt involved, since she was not even in a seat. As he was backing out of the driveway, [George's wife] apparently saw what was going on and ran out of the house screaming "George STOP!" and pulled Mary out of the car. Mary was 4 at the time.
The phrase "on the back end of the car" is a little misleading. The child was in the car. I was going about 3 mph in the driveway. The kids enjoy riding in the convertible, unbuckled, from one end of the driveway to the other. It is quite safe. And it is many times safer that some of the things that couple does with kids.

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