Monday, November 15, 2010

Seven signs of a wimpy parent

I rarely praise psychologists, but here is some uncommon good sense from child psychologist Gregory Ramey, on the signs of a wimpy parent:
I have evaluated numerous children whose only problems are that they live with loving and dedicated parents who are wimps. There is no psychological test yet to diagnose this disorder, but here is how you can assess yourself and perhaps avoid a visit to a therapist’s office.

1. Are you more concerned about your children’s feelings than their behaviors?

2. Do you praise your children excessively?

3. Do you give in on your discipline?

4. Do you feel guilty after disciplining your child?

5. Are you inconsistent in your application of discipline?

6. Do you talk endlessly to convince your children that your discipline is fair?

7. Do you typically place your children’s needs above those of you and your spouse?
You can find more of his opinions here. In one essay, he says, Children should know that evil exists.

His opinion is refreshing because most child psychologists teach parents to be wimpy parents.

I mentioned below that Communist countries use forced psychiatry to force dissidents to conform.

I once had gay family court psychologist Bret K. Johnson recommend that I be ordered to do this:
10. Counseling/ Related:

A. Father shall participate in a minimum of six months of thrice monthly individual counseling with a licensed therapist familiar with issues of healthy child care and safety needs to deal with the issues noted herein,, e.g., safety, supervision, insight into his own needs versus the children's, and other issues and shall continue as needed thereafter or until released. Possible therapists in Santa Cruz County may include: Jay Goodman, Ph.D., Jay Muccilli, Ph.D., CJ Neusdater, LMFT, Sheilah Seigel, Ph.D., Judy Zappacosta, LCSW.

B. Mother shall seek counseling as needed.

C. The parents shall sign appropriate release authorizations and provide documentation for written communication between the counselor(s) and Court regarding level of participation, number of sessions completed, issues addressed and progress.

D. The counselors shall be provided with a copy of this and other relevant Court Orders and reports.
There were no actual health or safety issues mentioned in his report, but just gripes from my ex-wife about my parenting style.

I was particularly struck by the phrase "insight into his own needs versus the children's" because there was nothing about this in either his report or the court papers. It seemed to be just a boilerplate psychologist phrase for demoralizing parents. No matter what the dad says and does, he can be accused of now always putting his own needs (and those of other loved ones) ahead of the children's. He can also be accused of lacking insight and empathy. No dad would dare stand up to a court psychologist who holds the power to order forced counseling to continue "until released."

I do think that psychologists are evil when they use the authority of the court to order psychological punishments that are not grounded in any generally accepted psychological wisdom. That includes Johnson, Perlmutter, and the Chinese Communist shrinks.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Judy well I remember that name. Attorneys in Santa Cruz County referred to her as "the darling of the Family Court", because she received so many court referrals.

She saw my son, then four-years-old, in therapy. I'm a Jewish male, and I can tell you that alone was enough to convince Judy that I was a pedophile.

She let me son go through one year in a sexual abuse treatment program in Giarretto before he was released due to their inability to validate his mothers' claims at the Intake Assessment. Their records were released to me, not his mother, due to her visible mental illness, which Judy also failed to notice, but which three other attorneys did notice.

Judy Zappacosta is the most horrific child therapist I ever met in my life. DON'T EVER take a child there in a divorce case. My son had to literally walk around a statue of a woman with outstretched arms that blocked the entrance way in her office. The statue was on the floor in the entrance. So if you were a dad back then, a Jewish dad in particular, you'd know what to expect regarding the outcome of your custody rights.

She should have never been working for the court system in the first place. She's in it for the money and the seaside life and to hell with her child clients.