Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Her reason for divorce

People ask what caused our divorce. My ex-wife's most recent explanation is this:
12. ... I never anticipated divorcing Mr. AngryDad. Ironically, it was 'for the children' that I found it necessary to divorce Mr. AngryDad ...

Simply put, Mr. AngryDad would not stop behaving in a way that put the children at risk. Mr. AngryDad has a predictably unpredictable manner about him; and despite his desire to have his children within his care, I knew that about five to ten percent the time he spent parenting, Mr. AngryDad consciously exposed our children to an unacceptably high risk of danger (as per anyone else's standards other than Mr. AngryDad's) I realized that my presence alone could no longer buffer the children from Mr. AngryDad's conduct. With this realization, I also inwardly acknowledged that by doing nothing about Mr. AngryDad's inevitable conduct towards our children, even if I would have been an unwilling participant had I been present, I would be complicit in the adverse consequences resulting from his predictably unpredictable tendency to expose our children to unacceptably dangerous situations. I strongly believe that I was and am obligated, as their mother, to protect them from those situations which I know to be potentially injurious to their health and welfare. Mr. AngryDad was that very real situation, albeit five to ten percent of his time with the children. He has always been, and is still insistent upon doing things his way.

13. Despite the seemingly enjoyable prospect of continuing to live in a multi-million dollar home as a stay-at-home mom, with all mine and the children's financial worries taken care of, and our children experiencing an incredibly high standard of living with a multitude of expensive lessons and private schooling, it all would not matter if the children are dead from what others would consider an unfortunate accident, but I would know to be purposeful ignorance of the Mr. AngryDad's predictable tendency to expose our children to unacceptably high risks. In my mind, this was not an even trade-off or acceptable risk to take -- hoping that nothing would come of Mr. AngryDad's conduct, so we all could continue to enjoy the life we were leading.

14. Consequently, I filed for divorce, and moved out, doing what I could, considering with whom I was negotiating, to protect our children in the wake of my decision. This meant signing a Marital Settlement Agreement that was completely one sided ... [April 3, 2006 declaration]
The Marital Settlement Agreement was based on a form from a Nolo Press self-help book, and included a parenting plan for 50-50 custody. The kids were with me half the time.

Here was the reply that I recently filed with the court:
Previously, AngryMom gave other reasons for the divorce to this Court. It is funny how she never mentions her boyfriend when she gives these stories. At any rate, it is wildly implausible that she could think that filing for divorce, moving out of the house, and agreeing to a 50-50 custody settlement was somehow necessary for the safety of the kids.
She was arguing that the agreement should be voided. I would have been really disappointed if the court had accepted her argument.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I must say congratulations, you seem to be taking what seems like a pointless courtcase (well multiple really) extremely well and pushing for truth and justice.

I am confused as to when things changed that a little risk became unacceptable, surely if we do nothing in life with risk then we will gain nothing and do nothing resulting in the stagnation of civilisation (ok a little wax lyrical but meh). Risk is inherent in life as I think you and your former Judge would agree.

Keep up the good work and I hope this goes well for you.