Monday, November 07, 2005

Mom's boyfriend is risky

NY Times Science reports:
Living with an unrelated adult, especially an unrelated man, substantially increases the risk that a child will die violently, researchers reported yesterday.

According to the study, children who live with adults who are not biologically related to them are nearly 50 times as likely to die at the adults' hands as children who live with two biological parents, the researchers said.
Here is the Pediatrics article.

It continues to amaze me that anyone would make the argument that the mom should get child custody because of safety reasons. The child is nearly always safest in the home of the dad. If the mom is living with a boyfriend, then the child could have 50 times greater risk with her, according to the above study.

In my case, my ex-wife made safety and risk her main argument to the court. In fact, the kids are much safer with me. Every single safety problem has been under her watch, not mine.

She lied to the court about her boyfriend, and said that she didn't have one. I guess that if she had admitted that she was secretly living with her boyfriend and his roommate, with the kids sleeping on his couch or his floor or whatever, then she'd look pretty silly complaining about my safety.


Anonymous said...

Have you brought this very legitimate safety concern up before the judge yet? Even more of a concern than violence and death, is the higher risk of sexual molestation among children who spend a lot of time with a non-related male - especially a live-in/frequent sleep-over boyfriend of a divorced single mom of young daughters! Please, this is very serious and needs further investigation by you as the father. Of course, there are also plenty of wonderful step-fathers out there who positively impact the lives of children as an additional caring loving adult.... I encourage you to be proactive in figuring out which type of boyfriend your ex-wife has. Under no circumstances should your children EVER be sleeping over at the boyfriend's bachelor house until you have had a chance to meet him and asess how safe he and his room-mate is. Get the judge to support you on this! There is plenty of documentation to prove the risk factors of non-related men and single moms.

Anonymous said...

I agree, your wife is showing a lack of responsibility and common sense if she is including your children on her sleep-overs at her boyfriend's house. She sleeps over to have sex, simply put, your young daughters should not have to be party to this - what type of example is this for young girls anyway.... If mommy does it, then why not me will be inevitable when they reach their teens - good luck. The fact that she lied to the judge about having a boyfriend and then sleeps over with the girls should definitely be introduced to the court as a lapse in judgement and safety concern.

Didn't she leave your marriage for this guy? How could she possibly lie about his existance? What else is she lying about? Could she be fined for perjury?

George said...

If the judge had any common sense, then I wouldn't have these problems. I appreciate your comments, but getting my message across to the judge has been difficult.

From what I have heard, perjury in divorce court is not prosecuted. They expect bitter wives to lie about their husbands. And the judge is not concerned with immoral behavior.