Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Criminal cheese squeezing

Rodney Dane Higginbotham is one the most wanted fugitives in South Carolina. If you run into him, you are being asked to immediately notify the authorities so that he can be arrested for criminal domestic violence. Here is the official state notice:
ALLEGED CRIME: Police said Higginbotham argued with his wife because she had not cooked anything. When she began cooking, he started making spaghetti while eating crackers and squeeze cheese. They argued, and he squeezed cheese on the kitchen floor. She squeezed the cheese on his truck, and he squeezed the cheese in her hair before fleeing in his truck. His wife said she washed her hair before the officer arrived to take her complaint.
Too bad she washed her hair; she apparently destroyed all the incriminating evidence! Unless this man is quickly brought to justice, no woman in S. Carolina is safe from having cheese squeezed into her hair.

I don't know whether they have any kids, but if they do, then the domestic violence charge will surely prevent the kids from being able to see their dad. If he would squeeze cheese into his wife's hair, then the law would presume him to be a bad influence on the kids. He might even do something to cause his kids to have to wash their hair.

2 comments:

Masculiste said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

George said...

I've tried telling people this story, and they don't believe it. Someone has gone mad.