Father or sperm donor

NY Times letter:

To the Editor:

I am saddened that your Nov. 20 front-page article used the term "father" to refer to a sperm donor. "Fathers" are parents who raise children. They change diapers, go to soccer practice, supervise first dates. "Fathers" are members of a family, not anonymous sperm donors.

There are millions of healthy parents raising children across our country. These parents may not be a traditional "father" and "mother." They may be grandparents, single parents, gay parents, family friends, couples who adopt. How often will they be condemned for their absence of "father"?

When can we celebrate the reality of these successful, healthy, happy families without holding on to the false myth of the American family?

Alyson D. Miller
Portland, Ore., Nov. 20, 2005

If you won't call him a father, then please don't call him a "deadbeat dad" either.