Sunday, May 08, 2005

Mother complains about custody evaluation

The NY Times had another article today about a custody dispute, this time from the mom's point of view. A lawyer called her an unfit mother, and she had to take humiliating and useless parenting, and a stupid custody evaluation:
MY husband insisted that we undergo an independent custody evaluation, which would involve interviews and testing of me, him and the children. Fearing this would further traumatize the children, I fought and lost that battle, and I had to cough up $1,500 - my half of the evaluation retainer - to allow a stranger to evaluate my parental skills.

Just about anyone can call himself a custody evaluator. Most are psychologists or social workers, but many are simply professional custody evaluators with some background in one of the helping professions.

As the date of my first evaluation neared, I pondered how I could prove I was a good mother. I don't spank my children, but one divorced friend told me that her failure to use corporal punishment was noted in her evaluation, incredibly, as a "failure to assume an appropriate parental role."
I can sympathize with her. The court procedures are idiotic, demeaning, and harmful to everyone involved.

The solution is also painfully obvious. In a situation like this where both parents appears to be good parents, a simple 50-50 custody order would solve all the problems.

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