Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Another angry dad

A reader writes:
Hi George, my name is [deleted]. I stumbled upon your blog while surfing blogs on Wordpress. As someone who's life was completely destroyed by the powers of the family court bureaucracy, it brought back many emotions.

The mother of my child left me when she was 2 months pregnant and immediately waged a brutal custody war that I will never fully recover from. I devoted 2 years of my life to fighting false allegations of sexual abuse, drug abuse, and mental illness in order to be a father to my beautiful daughter, now almost 4 years old. I now have shared legal custody and 15% physical custody. Because of my perseverance, my daughter and I are very close.

Before I became a father, I lambasted "deadbeat" dads for abandoning their children, but now I understand why so many men choose to forfeit their right to custody of their children. Battling with Child Protective Services, the police, the family court, and mediators can be a terrifying and depressing process. As you know, the family court assumes that a child's mother is fit to parent, and a child's father is assumed to be unfit until he proves otherwise. The bias is sickening.

When my daughter was born, the court slapped me with a child support payment of $645 per month. My income was $1200. My wages were immediately garnished, and I spent the first 2 years of my daughter's life, homeless, hungry, and fighting the courts to see my daughter. Child Support Services now garnishes 50% of whatever I make, there is no way that I can make a living if my income is documented. If it weren't for the ongoing financial help of friends, I wouldn't even know what my daughter looks like. I would love to publish my experiences, but I'm afraid of what could happen, as my writing has already been used against me.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that with you. Keep up the good work.
I often get letters like this. The system is evil.

2 comments:

Sean Griffin said...

i am in the same situation, my daughter is now 10, she loves her daddy very much, and i love her. She is too young to know what i went through, and still struggle with every month to be called her dad, one day she will.

On a bright note, i'm past the half way mark! Only 8 more years until my support garnishes stop, and i never have to speak another word to her mother ever. ever. again.

It poisons my heart and fills me with rage every nice word and false 'have a great afternoon' i spit through my teeth at her mother. All to keep up a guise that i infact approve of being raped by the court system.

Like a slave, if i act up, my punishment will be worse than before. I've tested this theory, and i was right, unfortunately.

the end said...

Hello Angry Dad.... I'm an Angry Mom.

Actually I'm more broken demeaned and emoralized than anything. I have been denied access to my 5 children, the 3 younger have court ordered visitation that is to be "Open and Liberal" , at this point I'l limited to 2 days every other weekend, and ordered to pay child support, I'm unable to secure employment and currently in arrears , under wage garnishment and credit reporting. I was a stay at home mom with no education and been out of the work force for 15 years. I'm doing the best I can, but to the court, the state and the attorneys its not enough. It will only be enough if I quietly pay my support and otherwise disappear.
This issue is not only a 'dad' issue it happens to moms too.