Friday, December 10, 2004

Vacation permission

My wife wants to leave with the kids on vacation tomorrow, but she has so far failed to get an appropriate amendment to our custody schedule signed. She refused to deal directly with me, and turned it over to the lawyer.

Her law firm sent this about 3 days ago:
Mr. AngryDad: AngryWife informed Jennifer Gray that she provided you with an itinerary for the Caribbean cruise this morning. Ms. Gray has drafted a proposed stipulation and order that she would like for you to review. Please review and contact Ms. Gray as soon as possible with your comments. Thank you.
I responded:
Here is my counter-proposal.

This is an agreement between George AngryDad and AngryWife AngryDad to modify a court-ordered custody schedule.
AngryWife has been planning a vacation for over a year. On Dec. 6, she told George that she intends to take the kids on a trip from Dec. 11 to 20. That conflicts with a week of school and with five days of George's scheduled access to the kids. On Dec. 7 AngryWife finally sent George her itinerary, which include a Caribbean cruise to the Cayman Islands, Mexico, Belize, and Tampa. AngryWife gave no explanation for not informing George and the court earlier.

George consents to the trip, on the condition that he is also allowed 10 days with the kids on dates of his choosing. The remaining portion of the Christmas holidays is to be divided equally.
My wife's lawyer, Ms. Gray, sent these responses yesterday and today:
Mr. AngryDad:
I received your proposed stipulation. I have not had an opportunity to review the contents of the proposal with Ms. MaidenName. I will not be going to court this afternoon at 1:00 p.m. to seek an emergency order from the court allowing Ms. MaidenName to go on vacation with your daughters. As of this e-mail, based on your objection, Ms. MaidenName and the children are not permitted to travel on December 11, 2004, unless you both agree to a stipulation in writing.

Mr. AngryDad:
As you know, the two of you may agree in writing to modify the present custody arrangement to allow Ms. MaidenName to travel with the children. You assisted in obtaining birth certificates for the children in November, in preparation for this trip. You did not voice any objection to the trip until this week. As a parent, you understand why the trip is important for the children because you took the girls to visit with your family earlier this year. The children will miss visiting with their grandparents and extended family. We offered alternatives for making up any time you miss with the girls.
At this time, the decision to cancel their trip arises out of your actions. If you wish to remedy the situation for the benefit of your children, you will need to contact Ms. MaidenName and advise her that she may go on the trip. Otherwise, she will stay in Santa Cruz and the present schedule remains in effect.
I sent the following, and got no reply:
Ms. Gray, I am disappointed that you continue to tell lies in an apparent effort to sabotage AngryWife's trip.

It is not true that I voiced an objection to the trip this week. I never voiced any objection, except to point out the necessity of complying with the court order.

It is also not true that you "offered alternatives for making up any time [that I] miss with the girls."

It is also not true that any decision to cancel the trip would arise from my actions. The only impediment to her trip is the Nov. 16 court order that you and AngryWife supported. I vigorously objected to that order, and I refuse to take any responsibility for it. If you don't like the order, then I wish that you'd complain to the court about it, and stop complaining to me about it.

In spite of your tactics, I have attempted to make the trip possible by proposing a reasonable agreement that AngryWife and I could sign. You acknowledged receipt of it, but you have refused to say whether or not the proposal is acceptable.

I have already advised AngryWife that you have been lying to her, and that she can easily take the kids on the vacation by just bypassing you and signing an agreement with me.
Her scheduled flight is 10 am tomorrow. I don't know what she is going to do.

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