Sunday, February 28, 2010

More on Chicago religion order

I commented below about the Jewish mom who is trying the jail the dad for taking their daughter to church. I think that the mom is a control freak.

Here is the earlier statement from the mom's lawyer:
I think he was just trying to exert some power. We never knew him to be a particularly religious man and certainly not someone who was a devout Christian. ...

She just wanted to raise her little girl. I mean, she's not trying to accomplish anything. She's just trying to defend herself and protect her daughter, at this point. We thought we had things under control, she's been awarded custody of her daughter, so that's not even an issue anymore. It's really just an issue now of a few visitation questions and now, of course, Mr. Reyes bringing this religious aspect to it is something that he just created, recently. ...

I think her mother feels very strongly that it had always been their decision to raise this little girl as a Jewish girl. And Rebecca is the custodial parent, and we will be arguing in court next month that this little girl should be raised Jewish, at least for the next couple years till she's old enough to understand the differences between religions.
This is offensive for several reasons. First, he is basing his case on questioning the sincerity of the dad's religious beliefs. He should not have to prove that he is devout in order to attend church.

Second, look at how much the lawyer argues that the mom should have control. What really bugs the mom and her lawyer is that they thought that they had won nearly complete control over the daughter, and they are annoyed that the dad has now raised religion as a new issue. The lawyer says that the kid should be raised Jewish because the court has given her the control and she wants to be the one making the decision.

On Friday's ABC TV 20/20 show, the Jewish mom explained:
It made me kind of sick that he would do something like that because I am the custodial parent. ...
[It hurt me] because I am Jewish ...
This is about parenting. This is not about religion.
The dad compared himself to Rosa Parks, the black woman who refused to move to the back of the bus as part of a civil rights protest.

This looks like a case where the mom has unfairly manuevered the system to get 98% control over their girl, and now she is bitching about not getting 99% control. And she will do whatever she can to put him in jail, if that is what it takes to get the control that she wants. When she says "This is about parenting", she means that it is about her getting total control. The religion is just a means to her getting that control. Once getting that control, she is anxious to lock it in.

Both of these parents have now talked enough that it would be easy for a judge or someone else to argue that they have character flaws that have the potential to make them less than perfect parents. So a judge could apply his prejudices and take either side, and deny that he is making an unconstitutional preference of one religion over another.

This whole dispute seems so unnecessary. It was created by a meddlesome family court that issued overwhelmingly one-sided orders. If it had just let each parent share custody of the daughter and let them use their time as they see fit, there might be no dispute.

1 comment:

Dan Brewington said...

Here is a good way to look at it. Let's take a look at the comprehensive studies pertaining to exposing children to two religions and how it negatively impacts the children. Oh, that's right, there are no studies like that. Just as there isn't any evidence that custodial evaluations are effective. Once a custody determination has been made, it becomes taboo to speak of it again so there is no way to monitor or audit the system to see if it actually works. Be Jewish on one weekend and Catholic on the other. When are people going to figure out that going to court often doesn't resolve conflict. It creates more conflict and animosity. If the court was truly concerned about the "best interest" of the child, why would the judge make a ruling that would serve as a powder keg to blow the situation into epic proportions?