I noted the absurdity of basing child support formulas on adult clothing, alcohol, and tobacco consumption statistics, but I really think that the problem runs deeper.
The basic premise that underlies the academic analyses is that a father who is a head of a household and is living with his child will not voluntarily spend any more on on his child than a man who pays court-ordered child support to a mom of a kid he never sees.
That is crazy. Many fathers work long hours and make incredible sacrifices for their families. The idea that he would make those same sacrifices for a wife who betrayed him and a child he never sees is nuts. I cannot even see the rationale for it, and I cannot find where any legislative body has expressed a rationale. It is as if someone decided that there is no social benefit for fathers to be involved with their kids, and that the law should create monetary incentives against it.
I strongly agree with what you are saying. I was put in the position to pay child support and have visitaion for 2 children that I love dearly when my wife ran off with another man. But after paying the obligation I struggle to care for myself and children during the visitation time. However I do make the best of it.
Many times I cannot exercise visitation for financial reasons; this is when I feel the injustice the most. She has the money and gets all the enjoyment of raising our children. I just dont see the need to financially care for kids that Im not permitted to see. Because no matter how you look at it, those children are only going to remember who was there for them physically, NOT MONETARY. They will remember who got them what they wanted growing up (the physical purchase) , but not who provided the funds.
My S.O. went to a hearing yesterday for reduction of child support. His daughter has turned 18 years old, her mother kicked her out of the house and she is emancipated. He is also making less money than he did in 2004, when his divorce was final.
His ex-wife, the drunk, was sent a notice of the motion. Didn't show up. Next, she was sent a notice of the hearing and all the forms to complete of her financial status. Didn't show up for that and neither did the financial statements. The idiot judge (Judge William M., Will county, IL) wants to "give her one more chance". MY SO said to him "you still aren't convinced of how irresponsible she is?"
Yesterday was the hearing. She didn't show up. Again. No financial statements. So Judge bozo has the hearing. He has no idea of her financial standing, I remind you. She could be living in a palace and won the lotto. But he doesn't care.
Instead, he focuses on my S.O.'s car choice. Says he should drive a cheaper car. He says I am a professional, I can't show up in a '85 Dodge Dart.
Then Judge Moron says maybe he should live somewhere cheaper. Like where, my S.O. says. I live in a one bedroom condo. It's not exactly the ritz carlton.
Then Judge Idiot your village is calling says Why are you puttin $75 a week into your 401K plan? My SO says I will need something for when I retire.
He denies the motion and this drunken piece of garbage gets to collect the same amount for two children as for three. She didn't even bother to show up and this waste of air judge still rules in her favor.
She got a DUI last summer, the kids come out in dirty clothes, unfed, but judge dope doesn't want to hear it. They even caught their mother having sex with her boyfriend in the garage. drunk. High on dope. She'd smoke pot in the dining room in front of them. You name it, she's done it..
He gave this white trash the house, all of it's contents, the car, everything he had fit into a company van (he wasn't "allowed" to own his own car when he was married to this piece of work.
Anyway, family court is a joke. I would hate to be a man. I feel pain for you guys. My SO said EVERY man who had a hearing before him got bent over the table by Judge Jerk and raped and the women ALL won their hearings. Mommy Support. The kids get very little and the court NEVER EVER checks to see where the money goes.
Sorry for the long rant Angry Dad but I am angry at this warped system.
Thanks for the rant -- I am slowing down with my rants!
If you SO wants to hire a lawyer and get nasty, he could probably force the ex-wife to get regular drug tests until she proves herself clean.
I used to drive an old Dodge Dart. I liked that car. Drove it until it died.
It is not just that the court never checks to see where the money goes. Under the law, she has no obligation to spend the money on the kids. She can spend it all on beer, and it doesn't make a difference.
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